My Wedding Story

Before I proceed I would like to explain a few things:

a. I come from a conservative Tam Bram family. The Brahmin community from the Tamil speaking state Tamil Nadu in the southern India is often referred to by this name.

b. Most of the marriages in this community are arranged.

c.The process goes like this : –

  1. The parents of the prospective groom or the bride contact the parents of the prospective bride or the groom. The information of the eligible boys and the girls are procured either through advertisements in the newspapers, matrimonial sites or the good old aunties. The aunties are a goldmine of information. If you are 24 0r 25, and an aunty visits your house, rest assured she will definitely have someone who is related to her thrice removed cousin and they are looking for a girl/boy for the son/daughter as the case may be.
  2. The family background and the economic  status are checked during the initial conversation and the the most important thing happens..
  3. The horoscopes are exchanged. The horoscopes are matched with a dozen astrologers who give opinions ,after studying the houses in which the planets are positioned, on whether it is safe enough for the girl and the boy to marry and stay in the same house.
  4.  If the horoscopes are found to be compatible, the girl and the boy meet either at the girl’s place or in a  public place( mostly, it is in some temple (hoping for a divine intervention , perhaps)).
  5.  The boy and the girl are introduced to each other and are left to talk to each other for about half an hour. The boy and the girl ask each other their favourite pastimes, favourite actor, favourite sport etc..By the time, they move on to more serious topics the elders come back and the meeting ends there.
  6. The life altering decision is taken in this half an hour. If the girl and the boy like each other, the parents initiate the wedding arrangements starting from the engagement. If not, the advertisements are scourged again  and aunties are inquired about for other prospective groom/bride.

So, now that I have given you a fairly good idea about how marriages take place in our community , I would like to share with you how I went through this rigamarole and how I ended up getting married.

To be continued….


8 thoughts on “My Wedding Story

  1. Ha ! very interesting. Since I haven’t had the chance to go through this ritual it is very interesting for me to know how people in the event feel while they do this. In many terms, I feel like it is like a blind date. So enjoy while it lasts 🙂 Also there is a huger probability of “love at first sight” syndrome.

  2. It is just like a blind date which lasts for life and love at first just dont know what responses and reactions one can get while going thru this process..It will take a whole day to tell you…I will try my best to pen down my own experience in this exercise…

  3. this is not fair……..u hv left us hanging…..i am curious too….since i hvnt gone thru the arranged marriage stuff…..pls update this fast……and i mean real fast……. 😉

  4. Not too different from the marriages in North India, except the fact that their is liability to choose own bride or as they call “love marriage”.
    Being a groom’s cousin is much more fun than being a groom. 😛

  5. Pingback: MWS 4 – The “Girl – Seeing” Event | Food and Fiction

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